My Forbidden
by Cat Soup
Summary: [SessRin] Sesshoumaru can't accept the love of a human. Can he? What will he do when Rin finds love elsewhere?
1. Unloved

**Waah****…  So many Sess + Kag stories out there.  +cries+  What about **

**Sesshoumaru**** and Rin?**** +huggles all the other Sesshy and Rin lovers+ **

**There are tons of great Sesshy + Rin stories! Right now I'm currently**

**reading**** "Of Sin and Consequence" – by  ****animechick262003 . And**

**"Awakening" – by Lurane.**** Must note "Sesshoumaru's Choice"**

**- by Junipertay. I recommend them. ^^**

**None of these characters belong to me, they are the great Takahashi's!**

**Thoughts and flashbacks may come in italics. Also, Rin here is 18.**

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_"__Sesshoumaru-sama__."__ Rin squealed,, her sandals rapping lightly as she ascended the steps of her master's manor, heading straight for his room. She was only nearing 14 at the time. Her hands were balled into clenched fists, clutching the fabric of her now stained yukata as not to let herself trip. "..Sesshoumaru-sama..!" Her voice was pleading for a response. Upon reaching her lord's room she leant forward to grip the handle, but slipped in her tear filled frenzy. There infront of her lord's bedroom door she sat weeping for his solace._

_Though her savior didn't emerge from within the room, almost unnoticeably had he slinked behind her having escaped his duties as a lord to tend to her cries. "Sesshou-maru-sama.." Her speech was cut off by her sniffles. She was calming down.. Had she noticed his subtle appearance? Delicately he kneeled down besides her as she turned to throw herself into his caress. "Rin is dying!"_

_Dying? His golden eyes narrowed a bit unsure of her statement. "Rin?" He took one clawed hand to lift her chin, averting her gaze from upon the floor and into his eyes._

_"Rin hasn't told you.. I'm sorry Sesshoumaru-sama.. Rin is bleeding from inside.. Rin thought it would go awa—" She was cut off by a soft 'Shhh' to which she obediently quieted. _

_"Shh. Rin."__ He smiled faintly at her. He knew what was happening to her. Not that he need have her explain it to him, but he smelled it. As much as he would've wished to calm her worries to a full extent, he wasn't about to explain puberty to a human girl. "It's alright. Go change your clothes, and I shall seek out Jaken. Await him in your room." Yes, Jaken would explain it to her. It was a bit of cold humor on account of his lordship, but entertaining to imagine none the less._

_Rin__ offered a nod and one of those toothy smiles which enchanted him from his first encounter with her and rose to her feet. Quickly she scurried off down the great hall to her personal quarters. Sesshoumaru rose, gaining his composure with a simple smirk. It was time to fetch Jaken._

_Gracefully he made his way down the stairs, waiting to pick up a trace of Jaken's movement or senseless babble. The toad was never in the same place twice, always hasty, scurrying about the mansion as if he had some important issues to attend to. "Hn." Sesshoumaru grinned inwardly as he caught the slight sound of Jaken's footsteps not too far away. The toad will sure have some issues to attend to tonight. _

_"Jaken."__ As simply as he had been summoned, the toad scurried towards his master, the tip of his staff dragging upon the ground in his rush._

_"Y-yes Sesshoumaru-sama!"__ The toad bowed his head. "What is it that you want of me?"_

_"You need to explain things to Rin." Explain things? The youkai pondered. "Rin is.. No longer a girl." To the toad, that could mean one of two things.. She was somehow a youkai, or had become a woman. He desperately hoped it had not been the latter, yet as fate would have it, that was exactly the wish of his master. "She is becoming a woman. You shall explain this to her."_

_"B-but.. Master..! Do you really see fit for a demon such as myself to explain this to her? Why not send for a human? Or perhaps a youkai close in human form, female at that!" He exclaimed, tapping his staff upon the ground in a weak protest._

_Truthfully, Sesshoumaru only trusted Jaken for the task. He wouldn't dare let a male, human or youkai get that close to his Rin. Nor would he trust a female youkai, for they can be deceitful and rather corrupting. As for humans, he preferred Rin have minimal contact. If she were to develop a liking for their kind, she might leave him.. And if that were to happen.. He didn't even want to imagine. "Jaken. Do not trouble me with your insolence. To Rin's quarters at once, that is an order." A single fanged tooth was bared, settling over his bottom lip as he commanded the toad._

_Jaken__, fearful, decided that death was worse than explaining puberty to a human girl. Quickly he hurried towards the staircase and to her room. "Oh Sesshoumaru-sama, how you abuse me so" He sighed._

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That was how he remembered it, many years ago. Rin had since then never cried about the monthly trouble, yet during those times he forbid her leave from his abode. For it was dangerous for other youkai to pick up the scent. 

Pondering about the girl, Sesshoumaru knew she had grown considerably. She was no longer the gap tooth runt that he saved from death. She had developed.. Grace over the years. Her body he strayed from thinking about, ashamed that he actually considered her form pleasing. No longer was she so childish, she spoke properly, and better understood her lord's duties and needs.

Though she would always be innocent and sweet, and put the needs of her lord before her own life. That had not changed since childhood. Yet, a distance had grown between them, he didn't deny it. Upon reaching 16, he became a bit more formal with Rin. In Sesshoumaru's eyes, it would not be fit for a demon lord such as himself to act any other way with a human female.. Not that he really cared to deal with them at all in the first place. 

Sometimes he could sense a sadness from her, loneliness. It was always there, in small amounts lingering. That too had grown over the past two years. She was even past proper age for girls like her to marry, and yet she was alone. Sometimes he had sensed an affection from her, but that was as quickly denied as it was discovered. Was it unfair? Not in Sesshoumaru's eyes. He would not reduce himself to his father's level, and yet he could not let another have her.. It was his will, and it would be done his way. In his eyes, Rin should understand this much. Her life belonged to him, and she would live it as he see fit, even if it meant she were to remain isolated from the world in his ward.

Sesshoumaru smirked as he decided it was time to head back, he had left the mansion to attend to an uprising of lowly youkai causing trouble not too far from his immediate property.

Rin herself was outside, sitting atop Ah and Un as he hovered near the borders of Sesshoumaru's immediate property. The evening was clear and dark, which made the lights of nearby villages even more illuminating – and easier to spot. Her hair was rather long now, near her waist, though still slightly kept the form it had as a child; unruly edges and bangs. Yet, the look suited her perfectly. She smiled, as her fingertips fiddled with a little trinket she had purchased from a merchant a while back in secrecy. It was a tiny tube, filled with rounded lenses, a looking glass of sorts. A dark brown orb focused furiously behind the looking glass as she peered towards the villages, trying to make out what she could. 

Rin's isolation had started this unusual habit. She would peer in villages, watching people, making up stories to go along with them.. She would give them names and titles. Rin would tell these stories to Ah and Un, as they accompanied her. She only did such when Sesshoumaru was away, for he would be furious at her disobedience. Little did she know he had concluded his dealings early that day.

"See that girl there with the long hair? The peasant girl. She will be Aya.. And that boy over there.." Rin motioned with one hand as if pointing him out. A young boy, considerably better kept in appearance. "He will be her husband." Ah and Un raised their heads a bit in a slightly disinterested observation. It was clear the boy wasn't interested in the girl. "One day. He just doesn't notice her yet, that's all." Rin smiled reassuringly, yet let out a slightly disappointed sigh. How well that situation in the village seemed to symbolize that of herself and her master's. Rin was affectionate to her lord, of course. Yet, she couldn't deny she wanted to be more than what she was. Sesshoumaru was idolized by many youkai, popular among the females especially. Rin couldn't help but get jealous, but was relieved he took no interest in anybody.. Not yet, at least. Despite that fact, Rin's hopes of being anything more than her master's ward were crushed by his nonchalant retort..

_"You are only human Rin."_

She bit her bottom lip recalling those words. That simple sentence kept her in her place, she wasn't able to be with her lord, Sesshoumaru. She sniffled a bit, but concealed how she felt. Rin lowered her eyeglass as she took hold of the dragon's reigns. "Come. Sesshoumaru-sama should be heading home soon."

"**Rin!"**

She gasped, shocked. The voice was none other than Sesshoumaru's, but the tone was that she wasn't accustomed to hearing from him. In her surprise she tumbled off Ah and Un upon the grass below. "Sesshoumaru-sama!"

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Ooo. First chapter. Yay.


	2. Newcomer

**Ooo****! Quick reviews! Yay! +hands out Sesshy plushies+ ^^ Thank you for**

**the**** support! Glad you enjoy. +happy dance+ Also, I made a mistake! Sesshy's**

**door**** shouldn't have a "handle". Hehe. It sliiiides. +Hits head+ Gomen.**

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"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin exclaimed in shock, scooting back where she sat in the grass as he came to tower above her. He was angry, and she saw it in her lord's eyes. They had narrowed, and become considerably reddened from anger. He didn't allow her to stray so far from the mansion at night, atleast not without more company than Ah and Un. Worst of all, she had been spying on a human village, which though he didn't forbid entirely, she knew he wasn't fond of it.

A gleam of light reflected off of the looking glass she held within her hand, instantly catching his attention. He seized her wrist, pulling her upward so that she was standing as his free hand plucked the device from her grasp. A looking glass..? Had her isolation caused her to be so desperate? "Rin. I never want to find you out here again." He closed his palm around the looking glass as it crumbled in his grasp, letting the pieces of the shattered instrument fall upon the ground and get scattered in the grass. His tone had softened as he released her wrist from his grasp. He was rarely so harsh with her when she was younger, for her age was an excuse for her mistakes. Now however, he expected more of Rin, she was an adult after all whether he cared to notice it or not. 

"I'm sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama." Rin bowed her head, letting her raven tresses conceal her face. She placed both hands folded in front of her as she offered him a respectful bow. 

"It's late, you are not to wander off on your own. It's dangerous here, especially near villagers. Do you have any idea how they would react to you?"

"Sesshoumaru-sama, I belong to you. Nobody in this region would dare touch me for fear of your wrath."

_'You do belong to me, you should have no need of those villagers'. _He turned his back to her beginning his pace towards the castle, huffing slightly. "We're going home." Obediently, Rin followed her lord as he led the way. The silence which ensued was lengthy and uncomfortable. Sesshoumaru hadn't once turned about to face her. Had she angered him so much as to cause him to ignore her? It wasn't like she was that close to the village, she still needed a looking glass to make up for the distance between herself and the other humans. She hadn't even left the boundaries of his immediate property. The older she had become, the more restrictions he had placed.

Sesshoumaru himself was lost deep in thought. Why did he care so much if she fraternized with the other humans? She was his ward, but not his _mate. __'I, the great Sesshoumaru, jealous over a human girl?' How could the runt orphan he had come to save plague his mind as a woman? He growled a bit beneath his breath, fangs protruding above her lower lip. Jealousy or not, these feelings weren't welcome. He wasn't about to be reduced to his father's level, whether it was Rin or not. He had tried his hardest to suppress any feelings he may have had years ago. It didn't just bother him about how he felt, his actions took their toll on Rin as well. The older she got, the harsher he reprimanded her. Things had changed so much. As if it wasn't bad enough he so harshly rejected her need for love._

He remembered the first time he told her.

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_It was a couple years before.. It was night time, in his chambers. He was a light sleeper, and the sound of his door sliding open (though inaudible to most) resounded clearly to him. His back was turned, and he continued to lay in bed as the door was opened just enough to let Rin slip in. It seemed as if she had forgotten exactly how keen his senses were? However, when she was a child creeping into bed at night, he pretended that she didn't disturb him. Perhaps she really thought she had the stealth to slip in undetected? He smirked. _

_He had grown accustomed to it over the years.  Whenever Rin had nightmares, lonely nights, or just because, she ventured into his room at night at least once a week to sleep. When she was younger he'd acknowledge her presence. Turning to face her, and shooting that mildly questioning glare. She just smiled, or explained her troubles, and fell asleep peacefully under his watch.  However, the older she got, the less attention he paid._

_Silently she slipped beneath the feather soft blankets alongside Sesshoumaru, his back turned to her. In those later years, he didn't even bother to turn to her, or say anything. She had grown accustomed to the distance however, and let her master sleep in peace. However, on that night, she violated that line of distance which Sesshoumaru had set. She hugged him. That was something Sesshoumaru wasn't fond of, even when she was a child. _

_One claw hand slipped to remove her grasp around his chest, as she hugged him from behind. It was as if she only realized then how easily he could sense her presence, and that he probably wasn't asleep all along. "Rin." He spoke, not bothering to turn and face her._

_"I'm sorry, my lord.. It's just that.. I'm lonely.." Sesshoumaru arched single brow upon this remark._

_"There is always somebody to tend to your needs." Was his reply. It was true, Rin could always find a servant, or play with Ah and Un if she were lonely. She wasn't alone in the sense she was literally by herself. That was easily remedied._

_Rin sat up, pouting. "Master, that isn't what I mean.."_

_It was then her distress became a bit clearer to him. She wasn't just lonely, she needed affection. It was something which he had taken special precautions as to not give her. The whole reason for the distance placed between them since she began to 'grow' was so he couldn't be with her. "If you want affection, I cannot give it to you. You are only human."_

_He recalled the silence after, it was almost as if she was no longer there. He could sense her however, and the air was scented with a bit of salt. Tears? She was crying, silently. As wordlessly as she had come, Rin had slipped away from his bed and out the door. Once again he heard the noise of his door, as it slid closed this time. After she had left, he finally rose from where he lay. A disapproving frown gracing his features as he made his way to the door. Was he going to follow her? No. Reluctantly he decided to call for a servant to take watch of his quarters at night. That would be the last night she could come to his personal quarters to sleep._

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He collected his thoughts as they neared the mansion, clearing his voice as he began to speak. "We will be having guests, I am expecting them tomorrow morning." _Guests. Rin pondered. Sesshoumaru often played host for other prominent youkai in his mansion, at which times Rin spent most of her time in her room.  It was mainly a measure for her safety. Many youkai weren't fond of humans, and even though most knew of her, few ever got to meet her. Rin simply nodded, and although Sesshoumaru hadn't seen her response, he knew. Morning was only hours away, so upon reaching the manor Rin was hurried in her pace towards her room. Before she was able to escape towards the stairs, she felt a clawed hand take hold of her bicep. "Never will I catch you anywhere close to the village again. I forbid you any farther than the gardens without Jaken or myself."_

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." She quickly averted her gaze as he let his grip slide. Sesshoumaru proceeded to his room as well upon hearing Rin's door slam shut. His guests were rather important demons from the south, who were requesting an alliance of sorts. Why? That was to be discussed upon their arrival. All he knew was the wife of the visiting lord was a human, and that she would be visiting as well. At least, that was how it was planned.

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"Greetings, and welcome to my manor." Sesshoumaru nodded, greeting his visitors. Jaken stood to his right, and his servants were lined up along the left. The morning had finally arrived, along with his guests promptly at daybreak. It was a formal welcome. However, something was amiss. Upon inspection he noted that two demons stood before him, the Lord, and a slightly younger youkai.. Not his wife. A light sniff of the air ensued. It wasn't two youkai, one was a _hanyou_. As if the scent of feline demons wasn't bad enough.

Lord Yoru was a rather intimidating cat youkai. Of course he stood as if he were human, but his features were more of a cat in nature. He was clothed in colors of midnight blue with obsidian color embroidery, his finest kimono. His face was slightly furred around the nose and mouth, and his nose was more extended than that of a normal man. His fur was perhaps a shade of sandy brown, his hair a hue of gold short and pulled back into a tail. His ears, drawn back and his tail circled about his leg. His chest protruded greatly as he arched his back. It had become his normal standing posture, since it was the only one which allowed him to stay on his feet evenly; since his structure was that of a cat. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru." Sesshoumaru slightly winced at the familiarity the cat demon had taken with him upon formally meeting. Of course, they had spoken over messengers for a long time, but they had never met, and hardly knew each other.

Sesshoumaru shot his glance over to the Lord's companion as he was introduced. "This is my son, Tsukiyo." _So he is a hanyou. He was rather young, and a lot more human in appearance. He was clothed in a midnight blue hakama, and black sandals. His chest was bare, and lazily slung over his shoulders was his matching haori. Sesshoumaru slightly arched a brow at his informal style. The boy wore a smirk with confidence, as did the look in his eyes, which were almost as dark as his attire. His features were human, his skin was a bronze hue from his days out in the sun. His hair was jagged raven, and messily fell over his face and shoulders. Tsukiyo's ears almost disappearing into his dark hair, and his tail playfully swinging._

"An honor to meet you, Sesshoumaru-sama." He offered a smile towards Sesshoumaru, with that feline fanged grin. Sesshoumaru could tell from his look he was probably one to cause discord, and immediately worried. How he wished that Yoru's wife had accompanied him, rather than his son. The two were scheduled to stay until the next morning. In which time they would discuss the alliance. Sesshoumaru simply bowed to the younger of his guests and lead them indoors.

~

Rin was in her room, waiting for when Sesshoumaru would tell her the guests have left. Was he embarrassed of her? Maybe. Though he told her it was in her best interest. She sat upon the balcony, staring down at the gardens below with a sigh. _Sesshoumaru-sama.. Am I anything to you? Where is the affection you once offered me? Even if you could never love me, let me love.. Atleast give me the little joys you allowed me as a child._

~

"Please, take a seat Yoru." Sesshoumaru motioned to him as they entered his study. "You as well, Tsukiyo." The old lord took the offer, whilst Tsukiyo chose to stand by his father's side proudly. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed a bit at this. "I thought your wife was going to accompany you?"

"She has fallen ill, it is not serious but does not permit her to travel. Tsukiyo insisted he accompany me in her place." Yoru adjusted himself in the lavishly decorated chair. Sesshoumaru only nodded, and let Yoru continue. "There is a faction of youkai mobilizing. They are no imminent threat at the moment, however there are a few of their insiders trying to get into my territory. I am suspicious of all my servants and prominent youkai in my region.. However, I do not know their leader."

"So, you need my assistance for some random rebel youkai?"

"More so than that, Sesshoumaru. I came here to warn you."

"Warn me?" Sesshoumaru's tone became a bit sour on that note. Who was this.. Cat and his hanyou son think they were? Warning the great Sesshoumaru? He growled inwardly, though he kept his tone formal. "I assure you, a group of rogue youkai does not scare me."

"Some formidable youkai are within their ranks. I hear you are very skilled, but even the most powerful of demons have their limits." Yoru bit on his bottom lip a bit in saying so. Yes, he was well aware of his limit. He feared the faction was getting too close to him. He also feared Sesshoumaru's reaction. He himself would not appreciate a guest hinting he may be weak in any way. "They believe assassinations of prominent youkai will.. Further their power. Their goal, I do not know. They seem like nothing more than a reckless gang. I am sure they would go after a youkai as feared as you to prove their power."

"—Sesshoumaru-sama, if I may." Tsukiyo interrupted. "My father digresses. The purpose of this alliance would hopefully intimidate this.. 'Faction'.. And if they were to take action against any youkai within the alliance, the other would step up. This is, if you too worry about a gang of youkai as much as my father does."

_Direct, isn't he?_ Sesshoumaru had not taken a liking to the boy. Nervously his father stood. "They are no reckless gang! Their infiltration of my lands has been weeks of work.. However, I guess he has summed up most of my message. Please, think about what I have said. We have had a very long trip, I hope you do not mind that I am weary."

"Of course not." Sesshoumaru also stood, leading the two down the hall and to their sleeping quarters. The three were silent. Yoru's room was first, and he entered with little more than a polite nod before he retired. Tsukiyo proved a bit difficult as he paused before entering his room.

"You smell of a human. I guess the rumors are true?" He smirked, not turning about to see a disapproving glare form upon Sesshoumaru's pallid visage. "However, you smell unmated.. Intriguing."

"I would never mate with a human." A single fang protruded over his bottom lip as he replied, golden eyes narrowing a bit at the feline hanyou. "You smell like a hanyou, so understand your place." With that he turned about, and made his way back down the hall and towards his room. _Insolent hanyou.__ He growled beneath his breath. Their chances of an alliance were slim to none. Why should he care of a weak youkai lord and his foolish hanyou son were in danger? If he need to, he could defend his manor on his own. The boy had said himself, they were just some gang of youkai. Angrily, he retreated to his room. He was in no mood to speak to anybody at the moment, even Rin._

Unfortunately for Sesshoumaru, somebody else was interested in talking.. Specifically to Rin. The situation between herself and Sesshoumaru was something of interest to him.. Besides that fact, he heard she was rather attractive. What type of girl could enchant such a demon, and yet not be fit to be his mate? Tsukiyo grinned as he stepped out onto the balcony, hopping down to land crouched on the ground below. After picking up the scent on Sesshoumaru, he should eventually be able to pick up onto the girl's location. Luckily for him, her scent was on the wind from sitting on her balcony.

Rin was now laying on her bed, facing up towards the ceiling. She failed to notice her unexpected visitor until he was almost standing above her peering down. Surprised, she uttered a cry, but had it muffled softly by his palm. "Shhh. I'm not here to hurt you or anything. My dad is here on business with your lord." Hearing this, she calmed down slightly causing him to draw back his hand and take a seat next to her. His tail was slithering about in excitement. _So this is the girl. "Soo.. I'm Tsukiyo, and you are?"_

She was silent for a moment, before her hesitant reply. Sesshoumaru wouldn't be happy about this if he found out. She sat up, tucking her legs to the side as she hesitantly answered. "Rin."

"Why weren't you outside to greet us, Rin?"

She blushed a bit at his question. "Sesshoumaru-sama prefers I stay in his room. Most youkai aren't too fond of humans."

"Well, we are." He vaunted a fanged grin. "Not in a bad way. My mother is a human." He shrugged. It was an odd situation for Rin. Most demons wouldn't admit their heritage as a hanyou, he was either bold or foolish. Rin just chuckled a bit at his brash nature. Perhaps he was seeking out trouble by disturbing Sesshoumaru's Rin?

"So, are you his mate?" Tsukiyo leant forward, sniffing at Rin, which triggered a shocked and curious look. He didn't smell a sign that they had mated, on either Sesshoumaru or Rin. He was simply inquiring to find out perhaps a reason why. He was a cat after all, curiosity was in his nature. Reluctantly he drew back from his inspection of her. _What a sweet scent._

Rin hesitated for a moment. This was an awkward situation. "My master cannot mate with a human."

Tsukiyo shot her a questioning look, his ebony color tail raising up and catching her attention as it swung about. "Then.. Why does he keep you here? There must be a reason."

"My life belongs to him. He saved me as a child, I've been with him ever since."

"I'd imagine nobody closer to Sesshoumaru than yourself. Too bad he doesn't notice you."  He flashed a haughty grin, and offered a wink in the girls direction. "You are quite lovely." Rin's face turned a bit red at this, blushing. She wasn't used to encounters with her lord's guests, let alone having them flirt with her. She couldn't deny the fact Tsukiyo was pretty attractive himself, but the last thing Sesshoumaru would allow is her to get close to him.

"Speaking of Sesshoumaru-sama.. I don't think he'll take kindly to you entering my chambers. I'm afraid you must leave.." Rin stood up, taking a deeply respectful bow. "It was nice meeting you, Tsukiyo-sama."

Tsukiyo grinned as he rose to his feet, dusting his attire lightly and offering her a slight bow. "Pleasure is **all mine." Quickly he leant forward and licked lightly at her cheek, causing her blush to deepen into a crimson tint. "I look forward to seeing you again." Rin raised her palm to her cheek, speechless as she watched him stealthily dash towards the balcony, and disappear over the ledge. Her heart was racing for several moments after.**

_This feeling.._

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**Waah****.** =3****


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